i've been thinking<br>
which is a good thing<br>
usually i just kinda.. coast along<br>
because i feel like things are too overwhelming to actually face on with my thoughts<br>
probably partly because i don't know exactly what to do next<br>
well, i know what i <i>have</i> to do next<br>
but i don't really have a drive to do it<br>
you know, an innate reason to put mental effort into it<br>
and apparently it's hard to just force it, at least for me<br>
<br>
bill wurtz has been a great inspiration for me<br>
and he's pretty much the reason that i'm even breaking from the ... <br>
"coasting" i always do at the moment<br>
but i want to think<br>
i <i>need</i> to think<br>
i can't just coast along all of the time<br>
that doesn't work<br>
it doesn't work for me or the world<br>
<br>
it feels like right now i'm present<br>
i'm here, and i'm in control, and i'm thinking<br>
it's a good feeling<br>
<br>
i think one important thing i need to do is stop worrying about people<br>
people and what they think<br>
because ultimately i don't care about what the people think if what's led them to their thoughts is shallow<br>
which includes most negative judgements<br>
likely easier said than done though<br>
<br>
<br>